So, I’m not alone.

At that moment in the Japanese restaurant, I faced a dilemma that I have faced literally hundreds of times, before and since, in my 42 years on this fair planet: Divulge the truth—or let the comment slide by. Usually, I play along—simply because it’s the path of least resistance and least awkwardness. On a blind date, though, I thought open disclosure was the more honorable route.

I live a great deal of my life in fear of certain people finding out the truth about me. I do a lot of smiling and nodding when people say things that they don’t realize apply to me. It’s a hard game, weighing the consequences of divulging to whoever is the company present, shattering their assumptions, and quite likely, their positive feelings toward me… deciding who I can and cannot trust.

I hear them, well, practically everywhere…at Starbucks, at job interviews, and while picking up my son at Congregation Micah, Nashville’s open-minded reform synagogue. I hear them in the hallways of Vanderbilt University (where I teach part-time), around the copy machines at the Nashville Scene (the alternative newspaper which employs me) and in the carpool line at the University School of Nashville, (the progressive private school which my older child attends).

It is inescapable. It’s everywhere I go. It is the default position for everyone with whom I interact. And I have to say, it makes life pretty hard and pretty uncomfortable.

I’m not in exactly the same boat as this fellow of course, because I reject the sorts of labels that people tend to like to apply to other people and to themselves. I don’t know what to call myself so I generally don’t. This fellow uses the dreaded word that I don’t dare to touch…

Republican.

I don’t use the word because it is not who I am. But what I am is pro-war, pro-military, pro-free market economics. I’m a capitalist anti-socialist Zionist. I consider myself to be a true liberal because I support active defense of true liberal values against forces of tyranny and fascism. I also believe in honest journalism and reasoned debate. What does any of this say about me? Well, many would have you believe that it means that I am brainwashed, unthinking, amoral, unethical, bloodthirsty, ignorant, and racist. What really gets me is that people can one minute be going on and on about how I am one of the most intelligent and aware people that they have ever met, and the second they catch wind of my politics, they immediately jump to “How could you believe something so ridiculous and stupid?” rather than, going by their previous, supposedly objective assessment of my intelligence and awareness, thinking that maybe, just maybe, I have good reason to think the way that I do.

Their arguments are predictable. They are well summarized by Loretta J. Williams, director of the Boston-based Gustavus Myers Center for the Study of Bigotry and Human Rights, a national network involved in anti-oppression training. A self-described “sociologist, educator and activist,” Williams tilts far Left in her political views. Herewith, her reasoning:

The author of this piece attempts to dismantle each of the following points. I think he does it badly. Here’s my go at it:

Unlike women, African-Americans or homosexuals, Republicans have chosen to be Republicans; one cannot be bigoted towards a group that is self-selecting.

In America, people ultimately choose their religion. It is not generally accepted as, shall we say, good and proper, to deride people based on their religious beliefs. Unless they are Scientologists.

Republicans do not stand to be hurt by bigoted activity. Since the derogatory words do not trigger actual harmful behavior towards Republicans (who clearly can look after themselves), there is no bigotry. No harm, no foul.

Try being the only gay person in a room full of vocal homophobes. Even if you’re closeted, you are excluded. You feel fear. You are in a hostile environment.

A personal decision to take strong exception to Republicans as a group can be perceived as a rational and warranted act. Since the policies and actions of the Republican Party are worthy of derision, those who say they intensely dislike Republicans—and what Republicans stand for—are exercising legitimate forms of self-expression.

This is the most compelling point that is put forth… after all, few rational people, myself included, object to a general derision of, say, racial supremacists. It is an ideology that is chosen and which is generally agreed by rational people to be assholish and idiotic and not deserving of consideration.

But the reasons for the level of vitriol lobbed indiscriminately at a perceived half of the political spectrum is neither reasoned nor reasonable. It is based often on misinformation and misunderstandings and misquotes, assertions with no backing, declarations of intentions with no hard evidence, ad hominem personal attacks on character… the best argument a lot of the folks I end up contending with is “Oh, please!” And because everyone agrees, they win.

Not to mention that there is no more correlation between republicans and racial supremacists than there is with democrats and racial supremacists.

In short, the justification for bigoted comments directed at those with whom the educated Left disagrees politically is based on two foundations: 1) We’re a lot smarter than they are; and 2) We’re better people than they are. That logic leads to three inescapable conclusions: We’re right. They’re wrong. QED: All Republicans are assholes.

Interestingly, proponents of this logic seem all too eager to ignore the point that I mentioned at the very beginning… that a lot of the people against whom I come up (or is it “up against whom I come?”) will of their own accord, before I reveal my dark secret, express to me their opinion that I am as intelligent or more intelligent than they are. But that makes no difference. If it did, they might have to do some re-examining of their assumptions, like I did when I first started to realize that I didn’t agree with the political views of my parents or of most of the people around me. I almost can’t blame them… facing the possibility that you might be wrong about certain fundamental beliefs that you have been taught and held since infancy is a very hard and very scary prospect. Easier to attack a challenger than to take on a challenge.

Upshot? I’m tired of it. I’m tired of assumptions and labels, which is a pretty standard liberal line. I’m tired of making the arguments and then having them not refuted but ignored. I’m tired of pointing out the misinformation and still seeing it disseminated as fact. I’m tired of slogans and “Who can shout loudest” competitions, of “everybody scream if you think I’m right” and “Put your fist in the air if you agree” with no thought for the fact that someone might actually dare to have a different thought. What makes me the most tired is that I have no reason to think that this will change any time soon.